Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
