You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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