and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
