we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
