The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
its liver damage thursday
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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