South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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