He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
