fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
