guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
