we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
