It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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