So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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