How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
