so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
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She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
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i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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