the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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