Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
