Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
