I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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