Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
