if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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