i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
