I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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