Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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