i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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