yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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