it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
