i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
