If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
