Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

My new storm is the chrons

(248): View more from Michigan

The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one

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(248): My new storm is the chrons (248): The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one<div>(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one</div> http://tfl.nu/7nnd

Replies (5) Good night (2173) Bad night (882)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request

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(908): no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request http://tfl.nu/jdk4

Replies (18) Good night (4053) Bad night (1036)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.

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(410): I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think. http://tfl.nu/cvjv

Replies (16) Good night (4414) Bad night (1483)
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(541): View more from Oregon

You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.

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(541): You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were. http://tfl.nu/i5vx

Replies (5) Good night (6030) Bad night (1574)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?

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(734): Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life? http://tfl.nu/8b6j

Replies (20) Good night (4453) Bad night (1211)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.

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(303): I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever. http://tfl.nu/ptta

Replies (17) Good night (4303) Bad night (3937)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)

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(630): Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-) http://tfl.nu/n299

Replies (8) Good night (2051) Bad night (681)
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(940): View more from Texas

Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?

(940): View more from Texas

Is this a story I am going to hate you for?

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(940): Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes? (940): Is this a story I am going to hate you for? http://tfl.nu/tb13

Replies (2) Good night (2006) Bad night (593)
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(772): View more from Florida

You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.

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(772): You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer. http://tfl.nu/ehgy

Replies (10) Good night (1990) Bad night (684)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.

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(541): Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule. http://tfl.nu/eokl

Replies (28) Good night (3992) Bad night (953)
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(415): View more from California

Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?

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(415): Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking? http://tfl.nu/sizi

Replies (5) Good night (1932) Bad night (842)
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(323): View more from California

but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"

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(323): but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA" http://tfl.nu/kezs

Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (478)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

see that vagina ? that vagina means business

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(931): see that vagina ? that vagina means business http://tfl.nu/d7zl

Replies (4) Good night (682) Bad night (374)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?

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(614): Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text? http://tfl.nu/s4pf

Replies (3) Good night (573) Bad night (336)
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(847): View more from Illinois

lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.

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(847): lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying. http://tfl.nu/usim

Replies (2) Good night (756) Bad night (421)

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