Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?

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(518): View more from New York

it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone

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(704): View more from North Carolina

You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...

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(513): View more from Ohio

I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.

(513): View more from Ohio

I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+65): View more from

Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.

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(619): View more from California

Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.

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(916): View more from California

Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.

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(646): View more from New York

WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO

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