Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start

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  (617): Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start http://tfl.nu/p90c
  Replies (7) Good night (701) Bad night (3373)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"

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  (201): You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here" http://tfl.nu/hp38
  Replies (18) Good night (6994) Bad night (690)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week

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  (954): you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week http://tfl.nu/vx1e
  Replies (13) Good night (4899) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.

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  (+44): I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years. http://tfl.nu/naiq
  Replies (5) Good night (2977) Bad night (869)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure

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  (507): I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure http://tfl.nu/8ozd
  Replies (5) Good night (2477) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.

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  (619): I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome. http://tfl.nu/x3tk
  Replies (11) Good night (2582) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.

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  (412): Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it. http://tfl.nu/x2ar
  Replies (6) Good night (1896) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you

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  (304): Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you http://tfl.nu/fgii
  Replies (20) Good night (2903) Bad night (989)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.

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  (812): last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out. http://tfl.nu/4jcj
  Replies (5) Good night (1098) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??

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  (580): Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come?? http://tfl.nu/rcqs
  Replies (7) Good night (1139) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?

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  (859): it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone? http://tfl.nu/jw1z
  Replies (7) Good night (797) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy

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  (443): I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy http://tfl.nu/5ksv
  Replies (5) Good night (389) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex

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  (574): how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex http://tfl.nu/ior9
  Replies (3) Good night (858) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.

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  (480): Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now. http://tfl.nu/9q96
  Replies (0) Good night (360) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.

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  (219): If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life. http://tfl.nu/39kr
  Replies (6) Good night (1028) Bad night (292)

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