people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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