I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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