He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
