I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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