I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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