Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
