I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
