I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize