I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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