let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
