She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
barbara walters just said penis...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
