Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
