Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
