So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize