he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
