I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Small penises have feelings too.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
