i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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