Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
