I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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