I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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