This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
