Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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