Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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