Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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