My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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