you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
