I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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