Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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