He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
